6. Trouble in Paradise

 

27^th August 2025

The first time we had trouble was around November 2021 I distinctly remember that I was in Hyderabad with family because that’s when my son had secured admission in college.  

We went to Hyderabad as a sort of a reunion with this friends with 3 other families also joining in. So practically we were about 12 people in a small 3 BHk house where I just couldn’t log in to my hangouts account because that’s where we used to chat most of the time. I informed you that I can’t chat but you got a severe anxiety attack. This was the first of the many times when you had this anxiety attack and I was completely taken aback. You were constantly typing gibberish on the hangouts window which I really couldn’t make out. Your hands were shaking, you were weeping and I just couldn’t understand what the hell was going on.

A slight back story here is in order. When I started the healing, you told me that you were on anti-anxiety and some sleeping pills because you used to get these panic/anxiety attacks and the doctor had prescribed these drugs. During the course of your healing you told me that you had stopped all these mind-altering medicines which were making you very sloppy and disoriented.

I did not know the extent of these anxiety attacks and when you had it the first time, I was totally lost and couldn’t process the event. But this was not the first time and there were countless other attacks that you would get over the course of next 2-3 years.

During my Hyderabad trip, I fell severely ill for next 2-3 days while everyone went sightseeing and shopping, I was holed up at home with my friend watching TV and taking medicines. I couldn’t handle the panic attack and I just stopped responding to your messages. I didn’t know what impact that was going to have on you.

You had to be hospitalized because you started getting severe palpitations and had to be taken to emergency which of course I wouldn’t know because I was unwell myself and had disconnected from you completely. Was that a mistake ? Well let the story progress and I will let you decide.

Eventually I was back home and in the next 2-3 days we started talking again, sorry was said, love you’s were exchanged.. promises were made that we will never repeat these mistakes again and we got back to track. Or Did we ?

A few days later, an ex colleague visited from Jaipur and I had to take him around for some work. He was with me for a good 7-8 hours and I couldn’t talk to you. I was able to text you in between but again the panic/anxiety attack came. At night when I got free, we spoke on the phone and I told you where I was and what I was doing but you were hysterical. Screaming at me. Shouting at the top of your voice and I was shaken by this sudden turn of events. Again,  I couldn’t take it and I just hung up on you.

You were crying, sobbing, screaming, accusing me of cheating on you and god knows what! But eventually you calmed down and you told me that you are coming to meet me tomorrow. I told you I can’t meet you but you insisted. I was out of town. I finished my work the next day and you called.

You: ‘Hi love, I have landed and I am checking into this hotel’

Me : ‘ You shouldn’t have come. I told you I can’t meet you.’

You: ‘ Please don’t humiliate me like this. Please meet me once and let us sort it out’

Me: ‘Ok. I will book a room in this hotel for myself’

You : ‘ Suit yourself but you will only be wasting money for no reason’

My heart was beating fast. I could feel the excitement coming back. Whatever had happened in these few days, the fights, the screaming, the anger were all forgotten and as usual, I started throbbing.

 

I checked in. You came to my room looking like a model as usual. And whatever little resistance I had, melted away in a second.

We hugged gently. I took you in my arms and we were on the bed. Not saying anything just holding each other, feeling each other’s heartbeat and generally being lost in the moment.

Our cheeks were touching, my arm was around you and I could just feel u getting closer to me. Fitting perfectly in each other’s arms and our bodies touching, fitting snugly in each other like we were hand-in-glove. Just as I was thinking who’s going to make the next move, my arm involuntarily pulled you closer and my lips found yours.

I was gently kissing your lips, feeling their warmth and your signature minty breath from the ice mint that you had popped before coming to my room. In a second, all hell broke loose and our kisses became more urgent and frantic. My hands caressing and exploring every bit of your body. Our tongues touching, our hands touching each others’ exposed body and my thigh wedged firmly between your legs with my knee touching your panties. Your moans turning me on and my erection clearly visible through my jockeys.

You grabbed my hardness and started gently rubbing and pumping with your soft hand. My hand found its way inside your panties and I could feel the heat and sticky wetness of your pussy.

You : ‘Oh love please don’t tease me..’

Me : ‘Uffff you are so hot and wet my love…I am so mad about you’

You: ‘Love please don’t do this..i want you inside me right now!’

Me: ‘Oh sweetheart, I need to taste your wet hot pussy before I do anything’

You: ‘aaaahhhhhhhhhhhh loveeeeeeeeeee I am going madddddddddd!’

I gently pulled your panties down and you lay there with your legs wide open. I could see your wet hot pussy glistening and inviting me to lick and suck you the way I do. I fingered you a little, making you wild and crazy. Your moans were turning me on like this is the first time I am ever making love to a woman… I started by pushing my tongue deep inside your pussy and licking you gently. I could feel the wetness and heat of your pussy like it was on fire.

My hands moved to your breasts and started pinching your nipples softly. My tongue found your clit and I was flicking my tongue over it like there was no tomorrow. You were in a complete frenzy of lust and pleasure. I could feel your legs jerking involuntarily as if you are cumming.

You : ‘Oh lovvvvvvvvveeeeeeeee your are madddddddd ! I am cummminggggggg… ohhh please fuck me hardd righhhhttt now…

Me : ‘ Oh sweetheart! Have some patience…give me some time to play with you and make you more wild !’

You just pulled me on top of you and guided me inside your wet sloppy pussy locking your legs around my back. I plunged deep inside you and started loving you gently at first. Kissing your lips, licking your nipples and sucking them gently. My hands were around your back and I asked u raise your arms so I could lick ur clean silky armpits. There was just a hit of musky odour of your sweat but that turned me on so much!

We must’ve continued like this for what seemed like an eternity and I had to tell you a couple of times to keep your voice low because you were moaning and screaming like anything! Every moan turned me on and I was getting closer to my climax at that time you screamed that you had cummed again and I gently asked ..

Me : ‘Love is it ok if I cum too?’

You: ‘Oh love oh my love… please…!!!!’

I gave a few hard thrusts and I could feel my orgasm building up deep inside me. Just before I cummed, I pulled myself out from you and held myself so I could catch all of it in my hand. I shuddered and my cock throbbed shooting its load in my hand while you held me tight.. and kissed me gently. I felt so loved, so wanted and so content that all the struggles and all the lows of my life right up to this moment were forgotten. It was as if the universe gave me this experience as a pay back for whatever I had experienced in my life up until the moment that I met you.

The moment is so etched in my memory that I can’t forget even if I wanted to.

This was even better than the last couple of experiences which we had earlier. We were finally getting a chance to spend the night together, something that we had been planning for weeks! And I was on cloud number nine !

We lay there, utterly spent in each other’s arms. Your head was on my shoulder and my arm was around you. Our eyes closed and in a moment, we both fell asleep in the most peaceful and gentle manner.

Suddenly my eyes opened and I smiled. Thinking about what had just happened. I looked at my phone and realized that it was already 9:00 and we had slept for an hour utterly exhausted from this experience.

I woke you up by kissing your forehead gently with a huge smile on my face.. when you opened your eyes.. u hugged me tight and we lay there like that for a few minutes, soaking it in or as you say ‘just filling up my lungs’

We quickly got dressed because we were very hungry and wanted to go to a dinner date because we’d never done that before. We got into the car and you waved a magic wand over your phone and lo! We zeroed in on a small restaurant which had Rajasthani fusion food. You are a pure vegetarian and I can eat most of the things that walk and swim. But in the 4 years that we’ve been together, I’ve consciously avoided nonveg even though I know you don’t have any problem with it.

We reached the restaurant and every eye was on you. Doesn’t matter whether it was a male or a female, everyone was looking you. And that’s why I always said that you are the most beautiful woman in this entire universe.

I don’t remember the conversation that we had in the restaurant that night but it was amazing. I kept looking at you and smiling at you and telling you ‘Love, you are so amazing and I am so lucky to have you in my life’ and you smiled shyly. I would look deep into your eyes and smile while talking to you, it now seems like a distant memory but in that moment, it seemed as if this moment is forever. In a way, it was indeed forever because even if I want, I can’t forget the time that we’ve spent together.

This part of the post was supposed to be about trouble in paradise and it ended up being a memoir of the first night that we spent together.

My love, if we had such amazing experiences in life, why did we break up so many times ? Why couldn’t you stay with me forever as you promised me countless number of times?

We drove around the city for sometime and I got you a chocolate ice cream or was it a cone? I don’t remember but it was either of the two and it was such a beautiful drive in nippy December chill. I would steal a glance every now and then while driving and you would take my breath away!

We reached the hotel, got into the room and we were tearing off each other’s clothes in no time ! I was amazed at myself because I’ve never felt this aroused with anyone else ever! This time, we discovered something new. We had done missionary position till now and this time, I gently encouraged you to try doggie but you were apprehensive.

I had tried earlier as well but you flat out refused to try something new. But I guess today was my lucky day. You agreed. We did it. And it was explosive! For you as well as me. This night together turned out to be the most satisfying ever. We fell on the bed in a heap and slept like we’d never slept before.

You were absolutely right about booking the second room. It was sheer waste of money because I just used that room to put my luggage and shower in the morning. Out of the 15 hours that we were together that night, I think 14 were spent in your room.

Next few days went in an amazing zone where there was love and happiness all around. But you being you, the anxiety started again. You knew that I had some friends with whom I had been in touch for more than 5-7 years. These friendships were all platonic and nurtured over a long period of time. 

If I spoke with them and told you that I was talking to someone, you would get extremely agitated and start giving me the cold shoulder or shouting at me. Our first real break up came around Jan 2022 and you stopped talking to me. 

It was my birthday and you didn't even wish me. That hurt me a lot but I accepted it and moved on. 

You hadn't yet discovered the joy of blocking me so atleast I could see your stories and you could see mine so we still felt connected to each other. Then it was around your dad's death anniversary when I penned a heartfelt message and you came back happily. 

Next few weeks were a bliss. Full of love and care. Again, there was a huge fight because I had spoken at length with an old family friend from UK. She is in 60's and you thought that I had some ulterior motive or I had a romantic interest in her and we fought again but we didn't break up. The conversation was about a property dispute in my family and since she knew the people involved, I had discussed it with her as an elder sister. 

Now the real story of trouble in paradise starts. I had encouraged you to get certified as a healer because you believed every word of what I had said to you. I told  you that during one of my healing sessions I had an intuition that you would make an excellent healer and you should explore  the option of becoming one. 

An opportunity arose and you got attuned from some one in your city. Once you started practicing, you started getting insights about me and my business and I was amazed at the accuracy of your predictions and solutions. 

I thought that this would make things easier for us but i was so wrong! If anything, it made you even more anxious. Even more doubtful towards me. Even if I hadn't spoken with any of my friends, you would say that I had spoken with them and I was lying to you! 

The fights got intense and every day was a challenge. There were small breaks in between but somehow we kept pulling through. We continued to meet in between and have these amazing moments of togetherness which kept us going. 

Soon, it was time for your son to get admission abroad and your attitude towards me mellowed. There were daily discussions about his admission, passport renewal, visa application, arranging for his funds, you name it. You asked me to heal the situation because everything was delayed and you were worked up about missing important deadlines. 

I started healing the situation and you got additional assignments.  You made good money in those few months and that went towards his kitty. Everything went off smoothly. He got admission in his desired university, his passport was renewed, his visa came in a week and he was all set to go. 

At that time, the anxiety had reduced. Probably because you had too much on your plate or may be because you needed me and I was there with you every step of the way. 

It was the month of August 2022 and we met 3-4 times in 2 weeks prior to your trip to drop your son to his university abroad. We met in Pune one day on my way back from Hyderabad and I was running high fever. I popped a dolo and the fever went down and we had the most glorious time together. This was after telling you that love if I can't do anything today please don't hold it against me. But if I am with you, can there be a scenario where nothing happens between us ? 

I remember one incident from April 2022 where I travelled from Ahmednagar to Pune by Cab sandwiched between 2 people because that was the only means of transport available at that time. Then from Pune, I took another cab to come to Mumbai and you picked me up somewhere on the outskirts and we went to a hotel to be with each other for just 1.5 hours because i had to go back home. I had travelled about 24 hours in all just so I could spend those 1.5 hours with you. This was the committment that I had for US in this relationship. At that time you said that I was the most amazing human being alive because I came all the way to keep a promise that I would meet you before your big event and this was the only time window available for me. 

Where did all that go ? Why did we stop talking ? Why did i become that devil in your life ? These questions haunt me every day for the past 2 months my love! 

Finally the day arrived when you left with your son and we were in a time zone that was 12 or 14 hours apart. I don't remember exactly but it was something like that. I tracked your flight and the moment you landed, I was the first person to send you a message that thank god you landed safely ! The first 2-3 days were amazing. I would wake up in the middle of the night to chat with you or you would keep awake for slightly longer so you could chat or talk to me if the opportunity presented itself. Then came the shocker. 

I was in a meeting with a client it was around noon in India and you got a panic attack. You started calling me on whatsapp. I excused myself twice from the meeting to talk to you and explain that I was at a client's place and I couldn't talk to you. Then you said, 'Love you can fool your wife that you are in a meeting. I am way to intelligent to be fooled by you like that! I know you are fucking someone right now and cheating on me the way you cheat on your wife!' 

That did it for me. 'Love I don't have to listen to that crap any more ! I am done with you this time. FOR SURE! So please let us end it. Don't call me, don't text me.' 

That was that. You blocked me. I was finally at peace because being with you was a constant struggle to balance between work, your fears, your anxiety and your panic attacks. For 2 days, I enjoyed the peace and the calm. Third day onwards I started missing you. So I stalked your insta & saw that you were having a whale of a time with your son. Going out on dinners and lunches, sight seeing, shopping and whatnot. Which told me that you probably wanted to press my buttons this time so I would break up with you or give you a reason to break up with me so that you could go about your business without having to bother about me. 

You came back from abroad. You didn't message or call me. 

10 days went by, you didn't call or message me. So we had been on a break for almost 20-25 days by now. 

I hadn't gone to a chat room even once in the last 2-3 years because I didn't need to. I was happy and I was content. But your absence made me crave a woman's company and I wanted to chat with someone to express my feelings. I found solace in my 2 best friends (women) who I had been ignoring for months together while I was with you because you didn't like me talking or connecting with them in any manner. But they were understanding enough and helped me go through this break up with a lot more ease. 

It was my son's birthday and you texted me. Wishing him happy birthday. I was shocked to recieve your message because this time i didn't expect you to come back. I was sure that this was it. We were done. 

But you told me that you were missing me and couldn't be without me and that you were sorry for saying all that you had said while I was in a meeting. Now I was in a fix. I had come out of you and hadn't thought about what would my reaction be if you return because I was sure that everything between us had ended. 

We continued to talk because you were ready to listen to anything and everything i was saying. You agreed that you were wrong. You agreed that you behaved atrociously all this while. And I lied to you that I had gone to the chat room and spoken with a few women because I wanted to see your reaction. At first you were hurt. You screamed at me for cheating on you and didn't talk to me for a few hours. Then you came back again, saying that you wanted to be with me at any cost and requested me not to chat again and that you will not behave like this ever again. 

I was hooked once more! I agreed to your terms and everything was amazing in paradise. 

As always, once you come back, you come back with a bang ! You stop at nothing to make me feel happy and mad about you. The anxiety is gone. The fears are out of the window and you convince me that you have completely changed. No matter how many times you come back, I take you back like a sucker. Because I can't live without you. 

I remember that for a month and a half or more, you were completely a different person. I mean, come on. No fears, no fights, no arguments just an amazing feeling of being in love. 

But with a person like you, can a hurricane be far behind?